It was a very rainy day on the last day of chemo. I prepared myself for my last dose of chemo with mixed emotions. On the outside, I wore a bright smile and a bandanna with lots of happy faces that Lavina and Ivy gave me. It was a joyous day. On the inside, I had conflicting emotions. On one hand, I was very glad that it was finally over. On the other hand, I was anxious about the what-if’s. What if the drugs have not done their job? What if cancer cells grow back without chemo? I also thought about how I’m going to resume my ‘normal’ life after chemo because I no longer have an excuse to be pampered any more. I also would have to come face to face with the inconveniences of being one-breasted and bald-headed as I get back to exercises and outdoor activities. Sometimes I feel like nobody except myself can truly understand how much inconveniences and grief this has caused. Somehow I feel that being on chemo gave me the excuse to continue to hide inside the house.
After the nurse was all done, she told me and Siang to wait in the room. Then a group of nurses came in, put a paper crown on me, and blew bubbles all over the place. Then they started singing “It’s all over” to the tune of “Oh My Darling Clementine”:
“It’s all over, it’s all over
No more chemo drugs for you
Say goodbye now, please don’t cry now
‘Cause your chemo is all through
Hit the road, Jack, don’t look back, Mack
Go on out and have some fun
Like we said now, say goodbye now
‘Cause your treatment days are done!”
That was really sweet. They do that for all patients on their last day of chemo. I was very touched and almost cried as they sang. It’s been 3 long months.
After being off chemo for 3 weeks, I know no chemo is much much better. I feel so much more energized. I have also gone back to my step aerobics class last week. It was great.
Siang’s parents have returned to Singapore last Tuesday. I’m so grateful for them being here, helping out so much around the house. I literally did not have to lift a finger to do anything.
Prayer requests:
(1) I was originally scheduled to have my portacath removed tomorrow. But the nurse informed me that my blood counts are a bit low and advised me to wait two more weeks. Please pray that my blood counts will get back to normal soon.
(2) Our house was struck by lightning on my last day of chemo. It really put a damper on everything and is causing a lot of headaches. There are multiple damages to our property. Please pray that things will go smoothly with the insurance company and that we’ll get everything fixed soon.
(3) I’ll be off all drugs for 3 months. The doctor wants to see if I’ll have my period back in order to determine whether I’m still pre-menopausal or post-menopausal. The treatment options are different. Please pray that my ovaries are still able to function normally.
(4) Please pray for complete healing, both physically and emotionally, and pray that I will be strong and have faith, and be disciplined facing the days ahead.
Thanks.